TECH-NO-LO-GY

TECH-NO-LO-GY

Ok I admit it I am a technological MORON big time. Anything more complicated than sending an email makes my hands sweat and everything else too. Do you remember Napoleon Dynamite’s brother in the movie?  He sang that song about technology during their wedding to that great black chick he was marrying.  I need him as a personal tutor. If  I was really savvy I would u-tube that video and post it here.  It was awesome.

BLOGGING

 As I was looking in to starting a blog and looking at the different templates etc on the internet I had a hotflash and had to PAUSE and fan myself.  It was awesome and a little freaky and it made me smirk.  Actually what I did was go to the freezer and get out my trusty handy dandy HOTFLASH EXTINGUISHER  that I got for Christmas from my fabulous son.  It is a lifesaver and really does extinguish hot flashes.  The person that helped me the most was my son’s girlfriend Ky who lives in Chapel Hill.  She is awesome and is a technology wizard. (She’s 17) While I was setting up my blog she facebook messaged me and in the course of our conversation she offered to help me.  She has been blogging for a long time. At the same time she was skyping with my son so he brought his laptop  downstairs and she walked me through some stuff  by bringing up her dashboard on her computer screen, (while skyping) and moving the curser around while I was on my computer doing the same on my dashboard.  ARE YOU CATCHING ALL OF THIS?

SMARTPHONES

NO!  I don’t want a smartphone- I am too dumb!  Or is it actually that a smart phone is for technologically dumb people like me to make them smarter?  Or is it that you are really snappy and smart if you have a smartphone?  Or maybe dumb people just look smarter if they have one?   I know what you are all thinking-“don’t be so dumb, Denise, smart people do get smartphones.”  So if  I don’t want to be  eating technological dust  I better just cave and get one.  Nevermind  that it will stress me out and give me umpteen hot flashes.  Is there an app for that? 

MY MOM

My mom is amazing in so many ways.  I will blog more later about her raising seven kids and canning 100 quarts each of every vegetable every summer .  (can you say kohlrabi?) When I told my 83 year old mom I was starting a blog, this is how the conversation went:

MOM:Did you say blob?

ME:No Mom, BLOG.

MOM:Well, Denise you are a little overweight but You are no BLOB.

ME:No Mom, a BLOG, it is when you write stuff and kind of publish it on the computer for others to see.

MOM:Like that Facebook thing all the kids are doing?

ME:Well, kind of, you can make comments on a blog too.

MOM:Well I am still pretty upset that I never got any good pictures of  Blair’s wedding.  You all could see them on the computer but I don’t have a computer.

ME:Mom, let’s not go there, Maryellen and I both printed off lots of pictures and gave them to you.  Also Kathy will be sending you some professionally done ones.

MOM:Well I just don’t understand all of this computer stuff.  Who would want to look at pictures on a computer?  And by the way what is texting? 

ME:uhhh…..well……maybe I will explain that another time.

MENTORS

Sometimes it seems like technology is like studying God’s Word.  I love it, but it can be confusing.  Sometimes you need someone wiser than you to help you with it.  That’s what mentors are for.  In Sunday School we are currently studying the book of  Hebrews.  That book of the bible is extremely awesome, but can be a little dicey.  That is why I am eternally grateful that my husband is teaching all of us. He is pretty wise about Scripture.  If you are confused about technology or the Bible or anything else- get someone to help you.  We are all in this living life thing together. Ya know?

Holy Cow! I just saw on facebook that there is a new app for Smartphones to diagnosis malaria with a drop of  blood.  WHAT IN THE CATHAIR?