Thursday, November 8, 2012

Tell ALL Sex?

I know.   The title of this blog just makes you say 

"what in the cathair", Denise Marie?

I have been avoiding writing this blog for about 5 months now, but it seems time. …

Is it ever OK to “tell all” about your sex life, your past indiscretions, your abuse suffered as a child? 

Is it OK to publish a book on this topic? 

 Is it Helpful ?  

 For You ?  

 For Others?

Recently I read a book published earlier this year by a popular 40ish pastor and his wife- doing just that.

 In their defense I do believe they felt they were HELPING the masses of people who struggle with their marriages,  sexually and otherwise. 

 Or it could be that they just wanted to make a buck? 

 I am not sure. Neither of them are professional counselors, they just told their story, in a very NAKED way.  (No pun intended:).   We were all able to voyeur into their private life ,  like a really really bad reality show.  Honey Boo Boo has nothing on them.  

Many famous Christian celebrities gave them accolades and congratulations for their transparent and brutally open work.   
What?  YIKES!  Really? 

In my estimation, the husband in this writing still blames his wife  for indiscretions before marriage, yet he did the same and seems ok with that….?  They give what they consider to be "sage" advice about oral sex, anal sex,  and other stuff....

 What in the cat hair is wrong with this picture?  


I am not writing a review of said piece of literature, but I would like to make a few comments about this type of thing.   

I have been married for 33 years now.  I have been married for 33 years to a professional who daily does marital counseling, and trains/supervises other counselors to do the same. I have talked/mentored with many young women about their marriages.


Marriage is awesome- but hard.  

It’s hard when you are first married, 

it’s hard when you are raising little kids, 

it’s hard when you are empty nesters,  

it’s hard when you get old.

Sometimes we all need help.

 Other people’s stories are sometimes helpful, mostly  NOT. 

If you are having some trouble in your marriage, sexually or in any other way, here is some advice from an old person:

1. DO NOT  read a tell all book by a fairly young couple who seem to have had a troubled marriage and will probably have MORE. Believe me it won’t be helpful.

2.DO NOT share the intimate details of your sex life with friends hoping to get answers.  The blind leading the blind never works.

3.DO find and older, wiser, person of the same sex to talk to confidentially.  They will help you discern if you need to see a professional.

4.DO  go see a professional if need be.  Life/marriage/raising kids/working/sex/etc etc etc are all FABULOUS  God given facets of YOUR story….  

 But sometimes they are overwhelming. 

And NEVER should they be regurgitated all over the world in an amateurish writing for public consumption.  

Just Sayin


  1. TRUTH.
    Yuck. No one needs to know that...
    Wise words from Mama Sieg yet again!

  2. This is the kind of sage advice we need! I would add that it is SO important to remember to honor your spouse whilst going through said hardships. Great post D!