Tuesday, July 23, 2013

If I perish....what's worse than dying?

Recently I went to Toronto to celebrate my sis's 60th birthday.  What happens in Toronto stays in Toronto...

 of course

but I do want to tell ya'll about my pilgrimage to Niagara Falls.  

Riding "The Maid of the Mist" within a few feet of the falls made my life flash before me, and my rear end pucker:)

my sister and I were on this boat- Yikes!

It's hard to explain- but for about 10 minutes of my life

I was silent.

Most of you who know me know that is an almost miracle:) 

As we drew closer and closer to the thundering, I felt surrounded by the white-hot majesty  of my Creator, in the horseshoe of His creation.

 In my mind I knew thousands had survived this journey, but in my heart were the words:

 "Really God?  This is flippin outrageous!  I'M GONNA DIE!"

Since I am currently leading a study in the book of Esther in the Old Testament,  her immortal words kept coming to my mind

 "if I perish, I perish." 

Esther was smack in the middle of THE defining moment of her life. She knew it as well as I know the natural color of my hair. Her uncle Mordeci reminded her she was created "for such a time as this" destined to either die, or save her people from extinction. (Esther chapters 4 and 5)

While my defining moment over the weekend in the bowels of the Falls was nothing noble or life saving, it did change me.

I marveled at the splendor of my Creator's creation, of course,

but it was more than that.

I was ready to die.

And all at once I knew there were far worse things than dying.

Knowing that in your life you have never lifted a finger to honor your Jesus, or help humankind.

THAT, my friend, is a far worse fate than death.

Esther knew it.

I know it.

So, as I look back on my fab time in Toronto with my sisters and my ten minutes of  silence, marveling on the Niagara River,  I purposed to do whatever I can to seize the day. 

And You?

Carpe Diem. 


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Hallmark or Hell?

Life changing events can be life-shattering.  Like the sudden death of a loved one or a natural disaster. 

Life changing events can also be the grooviest-like a marriage or the birth of your first babe.

A couple of months ago now, my  sweetie had major back surgery.  It was pretty life shattering at first- with several complications and severe pain. As time went by his back got better, and thankfully today only a few irritating side effects remain.

He lost a few pounds and is cold much of the time.  With his smokin' hot wife  (in the menopausal way) it's a little difficult for us temp-wise... 3 fans on my side of the bed and 3 blankets on his:)

 Also the Hallmark TV station has become his "go to" spot.

you know- John Boy Walton, Pa Ingalls, and ALL those  movies like "Love's Valentine"!  He watches it endlessly...

Are you thinking WHAT IN THE CAT HAIR??? 


This is a guy whose favorite Christmas movies used to be Die Hard and Lethal Weapon. 

His surgery changed him.  No more action movies for him, just schmaltz:) And that's OK.

The other day we were watching an episode of Little House where blind Mary and her blind husband have a stage coach wreck and then a fire almost kills them and the pregnant woman traveling with them. (who is in the process of giving birth) Of course Pa sees the fire from afar and saves them.


 As I was scratching my head and wondering is this Hallmark or Hell?

It came to me.

Life changing events change you forever...

Hence the name.

As I am careening at breakneck speed toward that day when I will stand before my Savior and Creator, I worry and wonder.

How many more life changing events will I have?
Will I see my grandkids grow up?
Am I doing enough for my family, my friends, the autistic teenager I work with?
Am I living my life the way my Jesus would have me live it?

If the hardest thing I will have to deal with is watching Hallmark Movies the rest of my life- I am in pretty good shape:)

But I fear there are more life changing events to come for me.

I plan to embrace them with a fervor, and thank my God I am here to have them happen. 

Tomorrow my husband is having a life changing event much more important than back surgery or Hallmark.

He is giving the eulogy in Montana at the Memorial Service for his beloved twin brother Terry. Terry passed away last week,  I pray for Tim's  strength tomorrow, and the same for Terry's sweet wife Betty, and her three grown sons, Mason, Adam, and Andy.

This life changing event has changed us all forever.

Rest in Peace, Terry, we love you.

Terry and Tim 2009