Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Fifty Shades of WHAT IN THE CAT HAIR??

It has come to my attention there is something going on out there with mommys. 

Not only mommys, but single women, and grannys too.   

Heaven forbid, but probably teenagers too.

*I want to make it CLEAR right now that I will not mention any particular piece of literature (really? is that what you call it?)

*I also want to make it clear that I have not read, or do NOT plan to read, the a fore  NON-mentioned piece of writing.

*I am not shy about talking about sex- ( I grew up in the 70’s fer cryin out loud) I am NO PRUDE. 

 I may be old, but I am NOT dead.

Over the last few weeks as I have done a fair bit of research, pouring over reviews, (Goodreads, NYTimes, USA today, and others)  and I have also interviewed many  in regard to this non-issue I am addressing today:)


What in the cathair???

How many times am I allowed say  


To say I am perplexed is an understatement.
To say I am disturbed is closer to the truth.
To say I am disgusted covers it.

Disgusted with, and ashamed of the women who would subject themselves to ridiculously laughable  “mommy porn”,

*that objectifies women,
*allows for physical and emotional abuse of women, 
*places women in subjection and bondage to men  
*makes harlequin romances novels look like Pulitzer Prize winners, and as tame as  "Winnie the Pooh"

gee whiz Eeyore, that's trashy!
*and has a male main character whose main goal in life is to CONTROL women, sexually, emotionally,  and physically.

 “A fun read”?  “Twilight with sex”?  “Harmless  fantasy”?

 uhhhhh ……think again

There is NO gray area here, let alone 50 shades. 

 This is pure black and white.


ANYONE who actually read the non-mentioned book, and enjoyed it, has more diagnosable personality disorder problems than the DSM-4  Diagnostic Manual can count.

  Trust me, I know this, I am married to a counselor.

Ironically, I heard about this NON-MENTIONED 3 book series last summer while at church with some other older women packing lunches for a youth mission trip.   HA.     Before that I had never heard of any shades of grey, orange, red or purple, let alone 50.

1.Most Christian women I talked to who had read the book, in their defense said they did not like it.  Touted as something that “can help spice up your sex life with your husband”. They told me it did not help but hindered.

2.Most non- Christian women I talked to did not like it either, they thought it was laughable,  or they were horrified at the emotional/sexual abuse.  Most reviews were very negative.

3.Most men I talked to were just as perplexed as me.  They did not “get” the attraction

4.Again I am perplexed.   I am sorry?… who bought this book? 

 Bottom Line: Sex sells.  

 Throw in a little warped romance, AND bondage, erotica, and I guess moms are buying.   

Really mommies?  

 What are you looking for?  
 What are you longing for?    

5.”inner goddess” ?  while amateurish and immature writing at best, I will concede that we all might want to be “swept off our feet”  in a romantic fashion.   
Remember the old  “’Calgon take me away” commercial? 


 Or the present day Swiffer ones where the mom actually has time to have a cup of coffee? 

 Now THAT  is taking us away to fantasy land for sure!

6.If you want to be “swept off your feet” 

 hand your hubby the broom and tell him to get to work- my guess is he will rise to the occasion:)

7. To me, (and I admit I am not that smart,)  the crux of the problem of awful works like this one going off the charts,  is our terrible lack of true intimacy in today’s world.  With our spouse, with our children, with our friends.   

We text:  we don’t talk. 
 We facebook:  we don’t sit down face-to- face. 
We tweet: we don’t hang out with our sweeties.

8.You want true intimacy?  Try a real-ationship with your Jesus.  The best piece of literature besides scripture that I have ever read about that is still The Sacred Romance 

 by John Eldridge.  You can get it used on Amazon for about $1.00…  And you won’t have to hide behind your kindle to read 50 shades of anything.

9.I am enjoying a pre-WW2 series right now by Bodie Thoene.  


Hitler’s insane rise to power, and actually well written, imagine that?  Again, Amazon for a buck. 

Read something uplifting, leave the present day Lolita’s on the shelf, or better yet in the trash.

10 Most importantly, what does your Jesus think of all this? 

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

We pretty much know what He thinks.


  1. Good for you, Denise! If anyone was going to broach this subject it would be you -- and you did it so well! Thanks!

  2. Great post Mama Sieges!
    I am actually going to mention it and include a link on my blog and on my twitter account!
    I feel the exact same way. I never read it, never will... and to be quite frank I just have too much respect for myself and more importantly my brain to ever put garbage in it!
    I am also on the 2nd chapter of The Sacred Romance... SO good. John Eldredge is such a great writer.

    Thanks for the post!


  3. I agree 100% several people I know have read it.. encouraged me to read it.. but I just won't do it. I don't need a messed up image and idea of "romance".

    Kyla brought me here :)


  4. Amen! You nailed it. Thank you for sharing! More people need to hear these kinds of reviews :)

  5. I agree 100,000,000%! I read the Amazon "have a look inside" just to see what all the fuss was about....really??? #1-: I dont even want to qualify my sexual prudeness (or not) ; #2-The very idea of allowing pornography guised as "romance" into my brain is useless and sinful, #3- disrespecting myself by allowing another human to control my E. S. P. (emotional, physical, spuritual)...EVEN in fantasy land is disgusting and an insult to my individuality as a chick as well as an insult to my Creator Father. Authors like this one give men and women permission to behave in this manner and it is USUALLY outside of the confines of marriage. THAT is where damaging behavior is most often perpetuated. Now, I know there are marriages that include this type of sex, and, of it's your thing and you BOTH agree, then cool. If you are in a marriage or relationship where you are being controlled or bullied into this sort of thing and it is unwelcome THEN STOP AND TELL SOMEONE. ASK THEM TO HELP YOU. Jesus does not want that for you. Great post D!