WHOOPS! I meant to say SENIOR adult content. OK, even if you are under 50, go ahead and read on:)
ADVENTURES AND ADVANTAGES:
Being older has a few advantages, I gotta say.
And a lot of adventures too.
The other day I was driving along in my car, listening to sports talk as I usually do, and out of the corner of my eye, I got a glimpse of a white hair on my cheek. For a moment I thought it was an eyelash, so I tried to wipe it off several times, but to no avail. It was bugging me so much, that when I got home I went right to my bathroom mirror (where I can see better) to have a look, and there spiraling out like a twizzler from the side of my nose was a major white facial hair!! Can I say:
What in the WHITE Cat Hair?
I got my tweezers out and got rid of it faster than Bud can eat a whole package of twizzlers- (and that’s fast)
Never mind what I do with Sally Hansen products to my chin about every other week.
Elderly adventures galore.
I have already told my daughters if they allow me to grow a white beard when I am in the nursing home in a few years:) - they will be in HUGE trouble!
|Mel, you are looking pretty nutty with your white beard....|
Last week my elbow swelled up the size of a golf ball for no reason. Say What?
I sleep with about 5 pillows propping up different parts of my body. THAT is an adventure every night!
“The Expendables” is a movie about old guys blowing things up, killing people, and pretty much being way cool even though they are over 60.
Really guys? Sly Stallone and the boys should really stick to having adventures on the golf course. The movie was abysmal.
Now there is a sequel with Arnie- even worse.
Tim and his posse have plenty of adventures out there with trees, birds, water, and keeping their golf carts upright. It’s all good.
But enough about elderly adventures- Lets talk about ADVANTAGES to being a little older.
Whenever there is anything heavy to lift around the house- my son knows I will play the “I’m too old” card. …. Rightfully so, he needs to do the heavy lifting.
The other day I missed the deadline for something I needed to sign up for, and I pleaded old and forgetful (which was true). The youngster I was dealing with asked me what my “EXCUSE” was for being late. When I told him truthfully I forgot, he said, Ok, my mom forgets stuff too. … SCORE!
When you are old, people allow you to say outrageous stuff you never would have gotten away with when you were younger. ER Sieges (Tim’s father, God rest his soul) was the most outrageous and fascinating character I knew. He was the original armchair preacher, and you better NOT move out of your barca-lounger until he was done. Sometimes he would go on for hours, with his cowboy boots kicked off, a Marlboro hanging out the side of his mouth, one eye closed, and the bible falling off of his lap.
It was a darn good thing he was good at it.
He reminded me in many ways of the original Marlboro man.
Other times he would just tell amazing stories about the good old days. No one knows if the stories were true or not.
No one really cared, they were great stories.
Nowadays, for me, I am not that timid about my faith.
I don’t have that much longer to share with folks about my Jesus, and what He means to me. I guess you could say I am becoming more like ER, and proud of it.
While I try to do this with gentleness and respect, if someone gets offended by my straightforward
“You gotta get right with God” attitude,
it is not that I don’t care, but more that I am feeling the urgency, in the time I have left,
to share the most important thing in MY life with friends, family, and loved ones, this side of Heaven.
Besides, I am old, I can say what’s on my mind:)
OK you dinosaurs- get on out there and have some elderly adventures- and work a little something to your advantage.
It’s all in good fun.
You have been rambling around this earth for a good long time now- you deserve more perks than just the AARP discount at the early chicken fried steak dinner. .
Lastly, I could not resist this cartoon- please pardon the little bit of French…. I know you will forgive me
the original senior moment....and that is what happened to the dinosaurs