Dance Party!? YES, Please.

Recently I read Amy Poehler's new book (Amy is perky Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation on TV. ) She is pretty funny, but some of her stuff I just didn't get.  One thing she mentioned however, is way true. 

DANCE PARTY should occur regularly and often in our lives.

 

 

 

 

Not talking about "American Bandstand" (although that WAS  awesome. )  Or going out to clubs.

 

 

 

Denise's definition of "DANCE PARTY" :

 

 

A good song comes on or you put it on. You, and whoever else is there start to dance. DANCE PARTY can last 30 seconds or 3 hours. It puts a smile on your face, and gives you 3 minutes of exercise (if that is how long you dance.)  You can do it alone or in a crowd, or in your back yard.



People from one year old to 100 years young can participate.


To be honest with you, this fall, I have been feeling a little down. Then it hit me:  I haven't had DANCE PARTY in a long time.

When the kids were little we had DANCE PARTY lots, them in their walkers, me grooving to some dance aroebics. The autistic fellow I work with and I like to DANCE PARTY to the theme song from Star Wars. When we lived in Papua New Guinea, my posse and I would DANCE PARTY inside our houses for exercise.  We didn't go outside, the local folks would have thought we were nutty. When Anna  my daughter was dating Matt (her now husband) back in 2008, she was home for Christmas and she and Ruth did DANCE PARTY  by Skype with him to "I Need a Hero".    (She got one)

DANCE PARTY is awesome!

Ten Reasons for DANCE PARTY:

1.Laughing at yourself is way good.  At my age, my dancing makes everyone laugh.
2.Spontaneity is good for the soul, like chicken soup, but different...
3.You don't have to be wasted or high or loaded, you can just do it when you pop out of bed in the morning.
4.God approves.  I know He does. I might even stretch this and say we can DANCE PARTY unto the Lord....King David did:)  Wouldn't it be cool if you went to church this Sunday and your Pastor said "no sermon today, we are just gong to DANCE PARTY unto our Lord."    Yup.
5.There are some songs that just have to be DANCE PARTY songs:  try the Tanya Tucker version of "Someday My Prince will Come."
6.It will make you silly for 5 minutes.  The way the world is today, we NEED that.
7. There is no reason.  Don't overthink it just do it.



8.

whynot?





9.Its good for you, body, mind AND Spirit.

10. I said to, and you all know how BOSSY I am, I insist.

 

When Amy's book reminded me of DANCE PARTY, I said to myself: Yes, Please. (that's the name of her book, too:) And I just jumped up and had DANCE PARTY to "Christmas Means to Me My Love" that is what was playing at the time. (and also a great DANCE PARTY song by the way)

 

When I go see my 2 year old grandbaby next week, I will be saying Yes, Please, to DANCE PARTY loads with her.  I already have my cassette tapes with all the kids music I used with my babies packed.  (Yes I did say cassette tapes, and a mini tape player) Emmie and I will do DANCE PARTY till we drop.

 

DANCE PARTY.

 

Do it often.

 

With your kids and your grandkids and your friends and by yourself.

 

Who can stop you?





 

Make Someone Laugh Before You Die: Top 10

Humor is a funny thing.

What is hilarious to one is not funny to others. I love the esurance commercials with the elderly gals dealing with technology in their own way.  Here is the latest one that kills me where the old chick gets the wrong idea about candy crush saga...

http://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/100929/esurance-Commercial-2014.aspx


We all know it has been proven that laughing, and having a good sense of humor helps you be healthy and live longer. #IndisputableEvidence

Right now, though, I want to zero in on something else.

I am not to concerned about you getting a good belly laugh...
In this age of entertainment, we can go on youtube or watch a clever commercial and chortle.

Nope, not that.

It is not all about YOU, and your entertainment.

What I want to zero in on is this:

When is the last time YOU helped someone else to smile, or laugh or hoot and holler?

Yesterday the world mourned the death of Joan Rivers. As a kid growing up, she, Bill Cosby, Erma Bombeck and other stellar comedians of the 20th century helped me develop my own sense of "funny". Although she was a real person with troubles, she could always make me snort and not take myself to seriously.


Comedy, though, is sometimes not a laughing matter. Successful comedians take their work seriously. Making people laugh can come naturally for some, but others must work at it.

I wonder, when is the last time YOU purposed to get a snicker out of someone? 

Ok, it is true we are not all naturally funny, but please the next time you are telling a long yawn-able story to someone, think again  about how you can keep the other person from nodding off and snoring really loud before you finish...

I am no expert, but I think if Joan were still with us she might agree with a few of my below points:

TOP 10 WAYS TO MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH BEFORE YOU DIE

1.Don't take yourself to seriously.  Yes, life is not always a bowl of cherries, but daily I see irony and humor all around me. Try being a missionary, or communicating with autistic people, or growing old.  It would not seem so, but there is humor in all of it.

2.Your Faith is a serious matter, of course. But even our God of the scripture had a sense of humor. If you don't believe me read 1st King Ch 18. It would seem Elijah, speaking for God was asking the people where their god Baal was... maybe "busy or on the toilet?" Yes, our God uses irony and humor throughout the Bible.  Thank Heaven!

3.LOOK for humor.  You will find it in the funniest places, I promise.

4.CHANGE your gloomy attitude. Take a guess why Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh and the gang didn't want to hang out with Eeyore too much.... Would You?

5.Be Goofy.   Its ok even for old people to be goofy once in awhile. Next week I am going to try to talk my posse in to having a glass of wine and then going out to see Guardians of the Galaxy in 3D.  Do you think they will?

6.Make a little fun.....It's not OK to be cruel and make fun of people of course, but poking a little fun? I find myself the best target, with Justin Beiber a close second....or almost anyone in Hollywood who is a little bit of a head scratcher.

7.Be a FUN friend. Do you have a group of friends who love to watch paint dry? And then talk about how great that was? YIKES! Get new friends or revamp. Take them to a carnival or Monster Trucking.

8.Take a tip from the babies.  Remember the funny faces we make to get babies to laugh? Skyping now with my 18 month old granddaughter is so fun but a challenge to keep her interested.  Gramma has to come up with many silly songs and facial expressions and props to get her to squeal. Try that with the adults sometime.....you might get a smile, who knows?

9.Use a little imagination! One of the things that drew me to my husband of 34 years was his sense of humor.  When we were dating we used to go to the mall and he would make up stories about the people walking by. He had me close to peeing my pants on many occasions.  Ask my kids about the elaborate "neighborhood" stories he told them at bedtime when they were little.  He had them in stitches AND tears.

 A genius at work.

10. Finally, JUST DO IT. Joan is no longer with us. We need some folks to look for and point out the funny things in this life.  Let that be YOU.  Purpose in your heart to get a belly laugh out of someone once a day. Quit boring your friends and family to death.  Yes I do know that some things in life are NOT funny, but it's up to YOU to find something that IS.

If you DO need a belly laugh today look at this:

http://siegesdotorg.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/gmt-good-missionary-training/


you will laugh till you cry:)


 

Domestic Violence: A-OK if provoked?

*this blog was written with input from my 21 year old son, Evan, who knows the heart and mind of young men pretty well.  Thanks Bud! BTW- he agrees with me on this matter!


Recently in Sports news there has been a plethora of news concerning professional athletes and others having severe problems with domestic violence. This issue has far reaching moral, ethical and legal ramifications.

 Even one of our beloved Charlotte Panthers recently asserted he was "defending himself"  against his fiancé who had hit him. (Really? He weighs 240 and she probably 120?) Another football player was caught on tape hitting and dragging his girlfriend from an elevator.  He was suspended for 2 games, while a different NFL player was suspended for the whole year for his marijuana offense. (I am not condoning marijuana use, just wanting the crime to fit the punishment))

A prominent ESPN analyst recently hinted on his show that in situations of provocation women have some blame in these matters. (He got suspended for a week and apologized for his comments)

You can read about that here:

https://tv.yahoo.com/news/stephen-smith-suspension-exposes-espn-bigger-problem-013417782.html

I listen to a good deal of sports talk radio, and while most of the commentators understand the gravity of these offenses, some of the men calling in are appalling. I listened to one guy say that in this world of women wanting equal rights in the workplace etc, absolutely - if a woman hits him he would hit her back. 

Can I throw up now?

CAN I SAY WHAT IN THE CATHAIR?

CAN I SAY WHAT IN THE CATHAIR IS WRONG WITH MEN NOW-A-DAYS?

Back in the "code of the West"  John Wayne days, you didn't hear about this much. (although I am sure it did happen) NEVER HIT A WOMEN WAS THE CODE

Here is a Denise true confession:

In my life as a hot headed Yeggy woman, I have provoked my husband beyond belief.  I was much younger and I am not proud of it, but I did PROVOKE. With my words and my actions. 

To his credit as a MAN

and NOT a coward or bully,

He never laid an angry hand on me. For that I thank him and my Jesus, because I was a pistol. To my shame.

In the case of these professional athletes, if they get hit by a women, I am pretty sure they will live, being 100 pounds bigger.......


A few thoughts:

1.Never hit in anger someone smaller than you.

Period. No discussion.


2.Never hit a woman. Ever. Period. No Discussion.

3.Never hit a woman. Ever. Period. No Discussion.

4.Never hit a woman. Ever. Period. No Discussion.

5.No yaaaa buts.....

6.Not ever.

7.End of Discussion.


Are you a Man or a cowardly bully?











 

Frolicing with FAUCETS

Last year's hit movie "Gravity"  was unbelievable if not extremely improbable. In it ,Sandra Bullock, (along with her helper, a dead ghost George Clooney) met insurmountable fiasco after fiasco. But successfully (while lost in space) made her way from an American space station, to a Russian space station, eventually ending up in a Chinese space station.  There she was able to understand some manuals she found, and blast her way back to planet earth, aboard their emergency evacuation spacecraft. 

Unbelievable?

An Amazing Feat?

Suspenseful?

Long and Drawn Out?

Improbable?

Fiasco Laden?

Last week Tim and I had our own "Gravity Drama"  unfold for us, starting with a small rip in the hose of our pull out faucet, and careening through space toward an unbelievable journey that was suspenseful (for us), had many improbable twists, was long and drawn out, fiasco laden, and in the end, an amazing feat of having water actually coming out of our faucet.


We felt that we had landed our spacecraft in some unnamed body of water, and clawed our way to the beach... and safety.

Only to whisper with our eyes toward Heaven:

thank you.

 

 

 

Below are the data entries from Starship Sieges:

 

dated May 7-June 8,  2014

 

!Warning!: Skip this section and go to the bottom unless you prefer to shake your head, roll your eyes, feel constipated, and laugh out loud all at once...

 

 

 

1. May 7:As Denise pulls out the kitchen faucet to rinse off a dish she notices a small split, with water spurting out. Denise ignores the split.

 

2. May 21: Denise discovers water standing under her sink. Denise ignores the water.

 

3. May 23:Denise takes everything out from under the sink and wipes up the water. Denise prays the problem will heal itself.

 

4. May 26 am: with water standing under the sink Denise mentions to Tim that the problem might be the small split in the pull out hose of the faucet.

 

5.Same day 2pm: Tim tapes hose (doesn't work)

 

6.3pm: Tim takes apart faucet, takes out hose, and he and Denise go to Lowes, Home Depot to look for a replacement hose. No one has the right size.

 

7. 5pm:Tim and Denise come home to search the internet for a replacement hose for their FRANKE sink and FRANKE faucet. (purchased 4 years ago) They can find no serial /part # anywhere on the sink or faucet, but order the FRANKE part that they find on the internet that looks right from New York Parts, for $50.

 

8. 7pm:Tim puts original hose with the leaks back into faucet and puts faucet back together to use until the part comes.

 

9.May 30: The new hose arrives in the mail. Tim takes faucet apart again, the new hose does not fit.

 

10. 8pm: same day Tim goes to Lowes and talks with Laveryl. She and Tim look for an adapter to fit the hose, can't find it. They research together online the sink bought there 4 years ago and find it. Laveryl says to call FRANKE and they will replace the hose. 

 

11. 9pm:Tim get home  and puts the old hose back together again in faucet this time with clamps and tape on it  

 

12. May 31 Saturday: Denise callsFRANKE customer service, closed til Monday

 

13. June 2 am:  Hello, FRANKE  customer service

Yes, I want to order a part to a pullout faucet we bought 4 years ago

What part?

Just the pull out hose,it is split

Sorry maamm we don't sell that part, if you send me the receipt from buying the sink we can send you a whole new faucet.

I can't just get the hose?

No Maam we don't sell parts here.

OK what do I send you?

Send me the original receipt and a note explaining that the hose is broken.

Ok i'll do it.

 

14. Same day 1pm-3pm Denise and Ruth look  in the sweltering storage area for the shoebox with 2009 receipts in it.  They find 2005,6,7,8,10,11,12,13 but no 2009.  

 

15 3pm: Denise on the phone with Laveryl from Lowes:

You talked with my husband yesterday about the FRANKE sink?

Sure I remember- did you get the part from them?

No, I can't find the original receipt. Does Lowes have a record of us buying that in 2009?

So sorry not unless you used your Lowes charge card.

No, I used a Visa card I think.

Sorry we can't help then

 

16.4pm Denise looks through both bank accounts online not remembering if it might have been the debit card. No, it was a charge card.

 

17. 530 pm Denise calls FRANKE customer service- closed til tomorrow

 

18. June 3 am: Hello FRANKE customer service

Yes I called yesterday abut a hose that is broken in our pull out faucet?

Yes, I remember you.

I can't find the receipt, can I just PAY for you to send me the hose?

Maamm that is what I was trying to tell you yesterday we don't sell parts here.

But the FRANKE sink we bought does have a pull out hose.

Yes but it was sold as a KIT (sink and faucet) we don't have the part.

Can I get the hose anywhere? (I am almost in tears)

No Maamm the part # does not exist.

Well what can I do if I can't find my receipt?

I will get in trouble if I give you a new faucet without a receipt my supervisor might fire me (she is almost in tears)

What if I can go through my old charge card records and find the charge for it?

Yes that would work but it just can't say the price it would have to say "sink"  on the charge line.

Ok I will look for it.

There is one other thing you could do

what is that?

You will hate me worse when I tell you

I don't hate you but I am not fond of FRANKE right now

You could buy a whole new faucet

A whole new faucet?

Yes

(long pause) Ok thanks for the advice

Have a nice day, is there anything else FRANKE can help you with?

Ummmm that's OK

 

19. same day 3pm Denise goes up to sweltering storage area again and FINDS charge card statement for 2009 but it says only LOWES on entry line.

 

20  Same day 4-6Tim gets approval to send back hose that was ordered for $50 after many back and forth emails with New York Parts.

 

21. Saturday June 7 DDAY we are sick of having a clamped hose sticking out of our faucet and vow to finish this TODAY

 

22.10 am (At Ace Hardware, Waxhaw) Hello we are looking for a reducer for this hose. (we had decided try to use the hose we ordered instead of sending it back)

well let me see if I can help you..... looking for 30 minutes with Tim.....

no sorry I don't seem to have a part that will fit. have you tried the plumbing store in Monroe

In Monore?

Yaaa, you know close to the mall

Ok yes we know that one. Thanks we will try it.

 

23.  11 am Leaving the store we decide to price faucets at the Lowes on the way.

 

24.12pm We find a faucet that will be Ok on sale for $75. Forget the plumbing store- who knows if they could help anyway. Lets just buy the whole darn faucet.

 

25. 12:01 At the cash register, the sale price does not come up. 

cashier: sorry this faucet is $89 

oh, there was a sign under it that it was on sale for $75.

Well, its not coming up- here (as she writes down the item #) can you go compare item numbers with the sale sign?

sure, why not?

 

26.12:30 pm back at the cash  register ( a guy standing off to the side says to Tim)

Excuse me but I think I was ahead of you

Oh we were just back checking a price, we have been here once before

but you left and now I am ahead of you

Ok that's fine,

Cashier (talking to us) is it the same item #?

Yes, we brought the sign with us, it is all the same

Guy in line: Hey I'm first

Cashier: Can you wait while I check out these people who were here once before?

Guy in line :No!

Cashier: (to us) ok take the sign to that other cashier over there who has no one in line and explain all this to him,

OK

 

27.  12:45 We pay for the new faucet

 

28. On the way home in the car someone cuts Tim off, he WANTS to honk, but I give him the stinkeye.

 

28. 1pm back at home. Tim installs new faucet, with NEW pull out hose -takes 2 hours

 

29 4pm Faucet works!  SPLASHDOWN! THE EAGLE HAS LANDED!  HOUSTON, WE DON'T HAVE  A PROBLEM ANYMORE!  APOLLO HAS NOTHING ON US!

 

30. While everything is out from under the sink I decide to paint  the inside of the cupboard.

 

31. Jun 8 am We send back the unused hose and hope for a refund.

 

31.June 8 pm: I paint he inside of this cupboard and decide all the other cupboards need to be painted on the inside......

 

32.THAT is a task for another day, week, month ,or year:)

 

 

If we lived in a perfect world,

 

if Adam and Eve hadn't eaten the fruit,

 

if all hoses magically fit all pipes,

 

none of the above would have happened. 

 

 

 

But we are here, on this earth, not in space, and not in Heaven,

 

so we persevere. 

 

 I am sure you have a similar story- of how your Jesus allowed you to struggle

 

with little things

 

that seemed HUGE

 

at the time.

 

 

Teaching you lesson after lesson

 

about how hoses don't always fit on an imperfect and flawed planet.. 

 

 

Patience and perseverance sometimes pay off...

 

Even if you are stuck on a Chinese Space Station:)

 

 

PS:  We buried that old split hose.

 

and then played TAPS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

Old and Useless? Seven Ways to SHOCK a Senior.

I'm IN!

Being one year short of 60, I undeniably  qualify for the SENIOR Citizen discount in many fabulous locations:)

AARP

Thursday discounts at the grocery store

Dinner discounts if you eat before 5pm


YIKES!

If you had asked me in my 40's about my life coming to this- I would have said: "Lots of time..."


PLUS

I do senior citizen things now....

Like calling everyone under 45 a "kid".

Talking about my grandbaby until everyone around me wants to puke. (well it's true she is the cutest and smartest)

When I was younger, I was never shocked by much, but in today's world there are a few shocking things.

 

 

 

Not the normal stuff you would think, like Justin Bieber's rap sheet or a twerking Miley Cyrus.  #NothingNewUnderTheSun   Back in my day it was Madonna or in the 60's even the Beatles were shocking.

 

 

Nope that is not it. 

 

 

Want to shock an old hag like me?

 

 

Well, kids- do one of the below 7 things: 

 

and

 

BINGO! SHOCKAROO!

 

Ok, here we go:

 

SEVEN WAYS TO SHOCK A SENIOR CITIZEN

 

1.WAIT.    Don't be so fast to discount us and move on because we are old.   An older person I know was talking to a 20 something, and before he could finish his sentence, the 20 something said "boy you really are old, don't you know what "hooking up" means?"    Ummm,  Yes, we do know what that means.  We are old, we aren't dead.  Give us a chance to speak.  Our minds don't move as fast as they used to:) Sometimes it is shocking if we are allowed to finish our thought.

 

2.EXPLAIN.    What texting abbreviations mean, or why in heavens name Snap Chat exists? I mean, lol its not 2EZ and sometimes its 2M2H! Explain it slowly and don't get irritated! 4COL!! If you do this it will be 2GTBT and we will be shocked!

 

3.BE PATIENT.   I am trying to learn Instagram right now, I know how to do Facebook, and kind of understand Twitter (a little).  I am lucky my son's girlfriend is patient and kind with me:) She is my source for all things techno. We are trying with all this stuff- but remember we were around before computers!...... No, that is not a joke.  Sometimes all this new stuff makes our rear ends tired. Nuff said.

 

4.LISTEN.   When we say something we usually know what we are talking about.  Just patiently listen. There really is such a thing as wisdom-that's biblical:) Even though we might not know as much as you do about technology, We KNOW LIFE. We have been doing this thing called life a lot longer than you.  Sometimes, we have even done it well...I know...pretty shocking.

 

5.HEED.   What in the Cat Hair? My husband is in the business of helping mostly younger people with problems. It is still SHOCKING for him when someone actually HEEDS what he says.  So many times they will listen, but then do what seems right in their own eyes.  Usually it isn't.   When a younger person actually goes out and does what we advise, we are SHOCKED!

 

6.SPIRITUAL FORMATION.   Well kids, I don't want to make you irritated, but old duffers like us have been applying God's Word to our lives for an awfully long time.  We know what we are doing, for the most part. The old saying "wisdom comes with age" seems to be true. Still, it is a head scratcher for us when a younger person does not understand the SIN they are involved in. An older friend of mine recently was contacted by a young fellow she had been mentoring for years. He was lamenting that his life was not going as well as he felt it should be.  She had finally had enough of encouraging him along and flatly pointed out the sin he was engaged in. He was surprised, but agreed after she pointed out the scriptural applications to him.  Still, he was not willing to change his lifestyle.  Yes that is shocking to me...and sad. 

 

7.ASK.   To be honest, some of us are shocked when we are ASKED by the younger generation to give them input. Frankly sometimes I look out at Gen-Xers and Millennials and it seems like the blind leading the blind. You would rather ask a buddy or the internet how to raise your kids instead of someone who has been there, done that, AND got the trophy. Inexplicably this: You NEED an older mentor. RUN  and get one as fast as your legs can carry you. 

 

Please don't misunderstand me- I LOVE to interact with ya'll who are younger than me, it is stimulating, fun, and you have great new ideas! Social media is way awesome- love it!

 

My hunny and I are blessed beyond measure that our kids would rather listen to  two old crusty missionaries than anyone else:)

 

 

 

 

Just remember this:  Nothing much shocks we Seniors anymore.  Heavens, we lived through the Vietnam War, a presidential assassination, Watergate, and Woodstock. Some of us were even AT Woodstock....just sayin.

 

Years from now, when you are a Senior (and it IS coming, faster than the speed of lightening) you will have lived through the onset of instant information at your fingertips, news while it is happening, and who knows what else. I wonder if anything will shock you?

 

Who in the Cat Hair knows?

 

Only our God.