Recently I read a blog post by a 40 something mom of teenage boys that was WIDELY applauded in the Christian community.
Mom was writing an open letter to an unidentified teen girl, letting her know that because of some provocative poses on her facebook/twitter/instagram (not sure which one) accounts, her three teenage boys would be blocking her. These were not naked snaps, but snaps of this little gal in her jammies, probably doing something stupid like giving a sex kitten look into the camera? Maybe, not sure exactly from the post.
Self righteous mom did make some good points in her post, and I did agree with much of what she said, in terms of diligently policing her kids social media.
The interesting thing, (and incredible) however, was that she posted a picture of her teen guys on the beach, making muscles in their low slug swim trunks, inferring her family was the epitome of what a "healthy family" looks like, and acts like.
Sayyywhat momma?? Say even, WHAT IN THECATHAIR?
Do you think that NO girls, teens or other-cougar might have sexual thoughts while looking at your sons making muscles in swim trunks?
If you do, think again.
This well meaning mom of teenage boys is either extremely naïve, or is functioning out of a super-sized double standard for teens.
OK before you get me wrong, please know I would have probably had my teenage son block this misguided chick too.
But I probably would have thought twice about posting a seemingly innocent snap of my guys in swim attire and making muscles. (at least not on the same blog where I was blasting a misguided teen girl)
The fact is teens are developing their sexual identities.
Like it or not, they are sexual beings.
That is the way God made them.
As parents, we strive to guide them through these tumultuous times of Hanna Montana gone rouge, and the crazy blitz of new social media every day.
A "healthy sexual identity" they are developing might include:
1.Talking to them OFTEN about things they see in the media, or on social media (because they WILL see it) What is OK? What is NOT OK?
2.Trying hard to help them NOT to develop a double standard. (guys or girls posing provocatively BOTH need to be blocked.)
3.My hunnie and I raised 2 girls and a boy. As they grew up, we discussed their sexual purity with them often, (not just the girls) and still do with our 20 year old son in college. None of my kids have engaged in pre-marital sex, as far as I know, and I DO KNOW because we talked about it. ALOT.
We still feel NOT having sex before marriage is the biblical standard, even in this day and age.
4.When my kids wanted to watch an R rated movie growing up, (I am being honest with you now) we allowed it, on the condition they watched it with us:) then we TALKED about what was OK, what was NOT OK.
5.Teenage girls (and boys) want to look attractive. That's OK. Just don't post a "meow" picture of yourself online or anywhere else for that matter. You CAN dress in an attractive manner without giving the looks of all of your body parts away...
6. The "don't look, don't look don't look" standard for Christian teenagers is confusing and hard. How can you decide if you like the looks of someone if you never look at them?
7.Don't get me wrong, I don't condone ANYONE viewing sexual images on the internet, or viewing people on social media in different stages of undress.
But as people grow up, they look at others and do decide if they are attracted or not.
And like it or not, doing that is sexual.
Helping your teen do this in a appropriate way
is a good thing.
By no means were Tim and I perfect parents. We made lots of mistakes. Our God helped us a lot. We laughed and we cried.
And we still do.
Now I am concerned with mastering grandparenthood:)
I am sure afore mentioned blogging momma is a good mom. But we all need to be careful of the double standard.
And I know we are all raising our kids to the best of our ability, one day at a time, gulping deep breaths all the way:)
WHAT IN THE CATHAIR?
There is no better calling.
Mom was writing an open letter to an unidentified teen girl, letting her know that because of some provocative poses on her facebook/twitter/instagram (not sure which one) accounts, her three teenage boys would be blocking her. These were not naked snaps, but snaps of this little gal in her jammies, probably doing something stupid like giving a sex kitten look into the camera? Maybe, not sure exactly from the post.
Self righteous mom did make some good points in her post, and I did agree with much of what she said, in terms of diligently policing her kids social media.
The interesting thing, (and incredible) however, was that she posted a picture of her teen guys on the beach, making muscles in their low slug swim trunks, inferring her family was the epitome of what a "healthy family" looks like, and acts like.
Sayyywhat momma?? Say even, WHAT IN THECATHAIR?
Do you think that NO girls, teens or other-cougar might have sexual thoughts while looking at your sons making muscles in swim trunks?
If you do, think again.
This well meaning mom of teenage boys is either extremely naïve, or is functioning out of a super-sized double standard for teens.
OK before you get me wrong, please know I would have probably had my teenage son block this misguided chick too.
But I probably would have thought twice about posting a seemingly innocent snap of my guys in swim attire and making muscles. (at least not on the same blog where I was blasting a misguided teen girl)
The fact is teens are developing their sexual identities.
Like it or not, they are sexual beings.
That is the way God made them.
As parents, we strive to guide them through these tumultuous times of Hanna Montana gone rouge, and the crazy blitz of new social media every day.
A "healthy sexual identity" they are developing might include:
1.Talking to them OFTEN about things they see in the media, or on social media (because they WILL see it) What is OK? What is NOT OK?
2.Trying hard to help them NOT to develop a double standard. (guys or girls posing provocatively BOTH need to be blocked.)
3.My hunnie and I raised 2 girls and a boy. As they grew up, we discussed their sexual purity with them often, (not just the girls) and still do with our 20 year old son in college. None of my kids have engaged in pre-marital sex, as far as I know, and I DO KNOW because we talked about it. ALOT.
We still feel NOT having sex before marriage is the biblical standard, even in this day and age.
4.When my kids wanted to watch an R rated movie growing up, (I am being honest with you now) we allowed it, on the condition they watched it with us:) then we TALKED about what was OK, what was NOT OK.
5.Teenage girls (and boys) want to look attractive. That's OK. Just don't post a "meow" picture of yourself online or anywhere else for that matter. You CAN dress in an attractive manner without giving the looks of all of your body parts away...
6. The "don't look, don't look don't look" standard for Christian teenagers is confusing and hard. How can you decide if you like the looks of someone if you never look at them?
7.Don't get me wrong, I don't condone ANYONE viewing sexual images on the internet, or viewing people on social media in different stages of undress.
But as people grow up, they look at others and do decide if they are attracted or not.
And like it or not, doing that is sexual.
Helping your teen do this in a appropriate way
is a good thing.
By no means were Tim and I perfect parents. We made lots of mistakes. Our God helped us a lot. We laughed and we cried.
And we still do.
Now I am concerned with mastering grandparenthood:)
I am sure afore mentioned blogging momma is a good mom. But we all need to be careful of the double standard.
And I know we are all raising our kids to the best of our ability, one day at a time, gulping deep breaths all the way:)
WHAT IN THE CATHAIR?
There is no better calling.
Amen! Great post Mama Sieg.
ReplyDelete