Hi kids- another treat this week as you get to hear from Dr Sieges on relationships. I consider him smarter than Dr Phil, or Dr Oz, or even Judge Judy about this topic- Last week Ky, Bud's girlfriend asked him to blog for her about relationships. For those of you who don't know my husband, he is the Clinical Director of Wycliffe Counseling Ministries. He has years and years of experience in relational counseling. The blog was so good I am sharing again here- so listen up, learn, and enjoy:)
I consider
myself a relationship engineer.
It’s
true.
Relationship
engineer sounds so much cooler than marriage
and family counselor...
Engineers
design and build stuff out of steel and electricity and dirt. I do that too but with human emotion,
behavior and motivation. In my world, every
person who walks through the door is dealing with a relationship issue of some
kind. Without exception, we are all
connected to someone in some way. In the
field of relationship engineering, marriage has the most moving parts so is more
prone to frequent break downs.
That’s
why we need people like me.
The
following are a few principles of marital thermodynamics. The originators of these insights vary from
farmers to pastors. They are guys giving
advice about wives or wife procurement but each could just as easily be applied
the other way around. I am convinced
that Proverbs 31 is as much the biblical pattern for a virtuous man as it is for
women. So shift the genders on the
following principles as needed. They fit
both. The list isn’t exhaustive. These are just my five favorites. The first three involve mate selection. The last two involve mate maintenance.
Principle
1: Pastor Tommy Nelson; Denton Bible
Church; Denton, TX. “If you’re single, and you want to know who to
marry, run as hard and as fast as you can toward Jesus. And if, out of the corner of your eye, you see somebody running in the
same direction at the same speed, pull up along side and have a closer
look.”
Well said, Tommy. As you pursue Christ with your whole heart,
take a look around at the other hearts doing the same. It’s the starting place in relational design. Do not miss this step. It’s the big one and it has worked out real
well for me for 32 years.
Principle 2: Willie
Palaniuk; farmer; Dexter, OR. “Try to find yourself a good German girl. They will work in the fields all day and not
complain. The German girls expect to
work. If you find one, marry her.”
Great
input from a Ukrainian farmer. One
slight amendment: If you can’t find a
hardworking German girl, take a hard working (fill in the ethnic/national
origin) girl. The message is clear. Make sure you check out that person’s work
ethic. If he/she is lazy at work, you
can bet they will be lazy at love.
Marriage is work. Make sure you choose
someone who puts forth effort and diligence and commitment everyday all day. I did and Willie was right.
Principle 3: Tim
Sieges, Relationship Engineer, Wycliffe Bible Translators. “Check out potential spouses
with this question: Hey hon, what do you think about
quitting our jobs, selling all our stuff and going to serve the Lord in the
highlands of Papua New Guinea?
If the answer is “Sounds good to me. I can book the flights.” you may need to
marry that one. Even if you never leave your hometown, you will want
someone who loves a great adventure of faith.
Hardworking German girls who genuinely love the Lord usually give an
affirmative answer to the above question.
Mine did and then we had a great time doing it.
Principle
4: Edward R. Sieges; Cattle Rancher;
Ronan, MT. “Son, there are three things you should never be cheap about: Your boots,
your cattle or gifts for your wife.”
That’s what my dad used to say.
He felt like you were better off barefoot than wearing cheap cowboy
boots. And he would never put our brand
on funny looking, mongrel cattle. But
most of all, he was never cheap or stingy with gifts he bought for mom. A quality woman deserves quality gifts. Dad was sometimes cheap about dogs and horses
but he always lavished good things on my mom. Lord, help me if I do not honor
my wife in the same way.
Principle
5: Paul; An Apostle of Jesus Christ by
the will of God; Tarsus, Syria and beyond.
“Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” Ephesians 5:25.
There’s more before and after that verse but if you master this part
you’ll do well.
I have to check myself
against that verse every day.
I have rarely had someone come into my office and
ask me for new and creative ways to demonstrate this kind of selfless,
sacrificial love. People usually want me
to direct them to innovative and productive strategies for changing their
spouses, not themselves.
Paul sets the
bar high. Christ’s complete and ultimate
sacrifice for His bride is the standard.
Don’t expect a trophy and a cookie for doing less. I don’t.
Well there you have it. If you practice these 5 principles, life will not be perfect, but you will be miles ahead of the pack.
healthy relational physics.
Mama Sieges- will you guest post about relationships? :)
ReplyDeleteIf yes just type a post up and I can do the rest. :)
-Ky
www.thebirdssay.blogspot.com
Awesome! Love that my Ky loves your son! :D And that he loves her. Wished there was another male Sieges around 15 years old for my beautiful Kinzi Lea. I know that God has someone out there for her too. Just to be able to say that is truly an immeasurable blessing. Thanks for serving and honoring our awesome God with your life and producing such a fine young man in Evan. Glory to God!
ReplyDeleteShara Pisowicz
Ky's Mama