Hey What in the Cathair readers! A treat today! Wise words from a great friend, who kind of has a school named after her (NOT REALLY:) But she is a teacher, mom, and very much loves her Jesus. ENJOY my guest blogger:)
My buddy Susan Moore in front of Susan Moore elementary:) (Named after some other Susan Moore:) |
Those word have come out of my mouth – and the mouths of
many a-family member my whole life. You
see, I come from a long line of teasers and pickers and kidders,
as does my
husband. So it is understandable that our
children “inherited” that trait. Well,
not exactly “inherited “ in the genetic sense, but “learned” the behavior as my
husband and I both did from our families, who probably learned it from their
families….
In her study “Breaking Free”,
Beth Moore calls behaviors that are passed from one generation to the next
“Generational Sin”.
Ok, so teasing and
picking are not exactly SINS, are they?
Not like drinking, carousing, adultery, stealing....
But a sin is anything that is in conflict
with God’s word, God’s laws, God’s character, right? And He tells us to treat others the way we
want to be treated. Jesus tells us to
love our neighbors as ourselves. And IF
picking and teasing and joking with people causes them to be hurt, embarrassed,
shamed or anything other than built up, it IS a sin, isn’t it?
Now don’t confuse this with having a good
sense of humor – which is something we also got from our preceding
generations. Having a good ol’, laugh
till you cry, gut-busting guffaw - as
long as it’s not at someone else’s expense – is actually very healthy!
This weekend, I had a brief phone conversation with one of
my grown children. My call was to “pick”
on him about something that I’ve been busting him about recently – all in
jest. But this time, he didn’t take it
very well. I kind of blew it off with “well you know I have to bust you about
this…we always pick on each other.”
He then said,
“No, you don’t have to bust me about THIS.”
Feeling bad about making him feel bad, I texted an apology –
which led to a phone call from him a little later apologizing for his curtness
to me earlier. Unbeknownst to me, my
“picking” had involved something from someone very special to him, and it
really wasn’t taken as fun or funny. I
felt even worse about what I had said, but added that the “special someone”
would just “have to understand that’s the
way we are and get used to it."
WHOA! Uh-wrong,
Missy!
As soon as I hung up, I felt God
in a powerful way. God’s words in James
chapter 3 tells us about taming the tongue, about what a destroying fire it can
set, how full of evil and deadly poison it is, how with the same tongue we
praise God and curse man. And there it
was – the first lesson in all this that God is trying to teach me.
I never INTEND to hurt anyone with my words,
but it can easily cross the very thin line from innocent fun to judging, cutting,
harsh words hiding behind the auspices of picking,
teasing, joking.
And it can take on
a life of its own that becomes gossip
and rumor-mongering when the target
of the teasing isn’t even present!
James’ words took on a much deeper meaning for me today. For me to “tame my tongue”
I need to think about what I say and the motives
driving my “teasing” words –
are they meant for building up or tearing down?
For others, taming the tongue may be to stop
and think before complaining, and for others it may be to tame a bossy,
arrogant tongue. Whatever, the issue, we
need to be “doer’s of the word, not just hearers,” or our faith is nothing.
Which leads to the deeper lesson God is teaching me through
this....
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord
and Savior many years ago. As Christians
we are to die to self – that is, surrender to God’s will, God’s way. The old has passed away. So my words that “we always pick on each other,” and “she just needs to understand that’s the way we are and get used to it,” are contrary to that. Just because it’s the way I WAS, it should
not be the way I AM! We are to become
new -
“…and to put
on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:24
I want to be clothed
in His righteousness and holiness.
God’s
grace and mercy work gently and patiently in my life to help me learn and be
drawn closer to Him. He is working in
this area of my life right now. He led
me to the book of James, a very familiar book to me, so that He could speak to
me on these specific issues - and I am so thankful for that!
I don’t think He wants to change WHO I am,
but
HOW
I am living out my life as a new creation in Christ.
Boy did I need to hear this. I do it all the time not meaning too!! And, I do not understand why some get upset with me. I think they should see things the way I do and sometimes it just hits others wrong. Sorry all!!I am really going to have to work on this, I mean no harm, it is my personality and I am going to have to think more!! Thanks Denise for making me think!!
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