Chuck Norris, pie crusts, and man caves

BOYS are hilarious to me.  Little boys are even funnier. While I enjoyed raising my girls so much- it was a huge shocker to me to quit shopping in the pink Barbie isle at Toys r Us. What in the Cat Hair?   Everything suddenly turned to Light Sabers and action figures.

 

  When I blogged about courage, I shared about my son wearing 4 plastic swords in his belt and guarding the house.   I know some folks don’t allow play guns or play swords with their little guys, and I can appreciate that…. Just so ya know-with boys, carrots out of your fridge or sticks from the yard WILL turn into these things, I guarantee it. It’s in the DNA, trust me on this.  If you don’t believe me, have a look at this medical website.    

http://www.livescience.com/20011-brain-cognition-gender-differences.html 

On the other hand, socializing your children NOT to be over the top Matt Macho or Patty Prissy is an excellent idea. 

NEWSFLASH:  Boys and girls are DIFFERENT.   OK, so that is NOT a newsflash or even a hotflash for you.  Sometimes it seems to me, though, in today’s world we go out of our way to squash masculinity.  Please let me make myself clear, before my Christian Feminist (no -that is not an oxymoron, but I'll bog about that later) friends tar and feather me. Bullying, objectifying women, or making fun of people with other sexual orientations, in the name of masculinity- is NOT OK.  Actually those are all CRIMES in my book.  And don’t get me started on beer commercials.    BUT - liking sports, tools that have a loud motor, hunting, or Chuck Norris Movies are things that men should not have to be sheepish about or apologize for.   They shouldn’t have to hide out to watch boxing on TV, lest one of we girls scream “macho crap!”  

What I want to zero in on in today’s blog is for us to be OK with men being masculine.  Let’s NOT roll our eyes or guffaw if they want to be manly.   Wanting to be courageous, to protect, even take care of  their female counterparts, is not to be scoffed at.   Men look at life, love, work, and play DIFFERENTLY than women.   It is the way God made them.  Can I say thank you?  Last week I blogged about how we need our girlfriends, and we do.  But just as importantly, the world NEEDS women and men to be DIFFERENT.  We need the rich and powerful colors of our lives intertwining to be interesting and challenging.  Otherwise all it would be is vanilla, vanilla, vanilla.

I thank my God that my fabulous fella of over 32 years is NOT like me. He makes me laugh every day.    I marvel at his masculinity and the stuff he really likes that I am not so sure about (action movies, pit bulls, and pick-up trucks) His strictly male outlook on things makes me smile.  Now that I am a little older, I can appreciate and value how he sees things differently than me.   Yes, some of it is different personalities, but some of our differences are gender related.  And THAT, my friends- is a good thing.  He LIKES to get on his powerful John Deer and mow the yard- I say:  go for it:)

 

Sometimes men don’t really “GET”  housework .  They don’t even SEE what is needed, it doesn’t compute in their brain.  With so many women in the workforce today we NEED egalitarian marriages and families, where everyone pitches in with everything.  But don’t be surprised if your guy does the house work his way, not the way YOU think it needs to be done, kinda like the guy making this pie crust:) That thing will be flaky for sure!

Three things to help you along on the road to understanding your masculine man:

1.Housework: Yes, it needs to get done.  NO it is not just women’s work anymore.  Instead of getting ANGRY when that cute little fella ignores the housework, (remember- he doesn’t see it or get it) wouldn’t your energy best be expended in sharing with him stuff he could do?  Most men will thank you for this- it will help alleviate their confusion- if you are not breathing fire at the time.  If you prefer to just get mad over and over again until you are both 85-OK-but it’s your loss. Start with; “honey, since there is no path through the living room anymore- do you think you can help me pick up some of the clutter?” and go from there-  soon he will be washing the dishes BEFORE  he puts them in the dishwasher like my hunny does…  I admit sometimes it is not that simple.  Much marital conflict centers around housework and who does what.  I am just asking you not to make the same mistakes I did early in my marriage and blow your top when he does not SEE the sink full of dirty dishes.   Teach your sons NOW to pitch in- cooking cleaning, and doing dishes.  Their someday wives will thank you.

 2.YES we ARE women hear us ROAR!  It’s all good.  But take a little time to appreciate the opposite sex.  God DID make us different for a reason.  Could it be to stand in awe of how we are fearfully and wonderfully made, DIFFERENTLY?  We complement each other.  Look for endearing qualities that make you smile.  Being different from each other is a WAY good thing.  Below is a great story a friend of my husband’s relayed to him that really made me smile, and appreciate boys and what they grow up to be.

 "When my older brother, an unnamed cousin, and I were teenagers, we made a plan.  It  was masterminded one summer after watching 32 Chuck Norris movies.  We decided that we should go to Vietnam and rescue as many POWs as possible, using only our wit and a set of nun chucks crafted from a pair of old metal chair legs.  Our plan was foolproof.  We would steal a boat, travel to said country, sneak past the Vietcong, and travel back undetected.  At 11 years old it seemed all we needed was  a small 4-seater watercraft with a Johnson 200 outboard motor and an extra can of gas. We placed our black  t-shirts over our heads, tying the sleeves at the back  to make a ninja mask, and we took a boat from its mooring.  Before we could get the boat out of the marina, we were caught by a shrimp boat captain.  We made our plans (as ridiculous as they may have been) but the grace of God kept us from ourselves.  At the time, I wasn't glad that we got caught, or that the captain told my parents, but now I can honestly say, I am glad that our steps were not ordered by us."

 

 

 Can't you just see this?  The Chuck Norris factor is HUGE with guys:) And not just 11 year olds!

3.Your husband needs a MAN CAVE.  A garage or room in the house, or shed for his man stuff.  A place where he can go to do “manly things” away from you.   My sweetie has a great shed with work out equipment, all his tools, cable TV, Netflix, and golf stuff.  He is planning a “lounge area”  soon:)

Tim's man cave

 Yes, God did make us different for His reasons.  Over the years, sometimes I have scratched  my head in bewilderment, knowing I was from Venus and he was from Mars.  I defer to my favorite author Erma Bombeck who I have blogged about before.  She wrote many books on marriage full of humor and good old fashioned common sense advice. 

“One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.” – Erma Bombeck

Can I say amen to that?  But that’s a blog for another day.